Be kinder than necessary,
For everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly,
Remember to pray,
It’s about learning to dance in the rain!
What Survivors are looking for in a Support Group
(This consists of quotes of survivors in our support group… Their answers I arranged into poetry)
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“Fellowship, People that can relate To what I’ve been through, Social support, I am always looking to help others out… A place I can feel safe, Compatibility, To feel secure enough With others That we can feed off Each other’s hope & strength. Not being judged, My growth is recognized, To gather with people Who know I’m perfect (!), To develop new friends (As “friends” rapidly diminished after my accident), To find out how everyone else Deals with their problems. We all get stuck in our own lives. We feel we’re alone and isolated - But we’re not! To feel everyone else’s difficulties, Sure makes me grateful for what I’ve got! I want to be around others Who understand what I’m going through, Community, We see one another as we are. We’re not looking to take anything From each other. I get overwhelmed easily - I get a lot out of it. Feel like I’m part of something, Networking, If life gives you lemons, |
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I am better off With a supportive group of people, To be free of criticism, Acceptance, Appreciation, & Affection, I’m always sitting off in the corner, Holding back to myself, Withdraw I want to receive Some of the support I need, I’m just starting To ask for help. |
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My spouse and friends have deserted me - I’m looking to build self-esteem back. METAMORPHOSIS… ~ Like a butterfly ~ You get your wings,Like a colony of bees… Pollinate, Protect & Provide. If one goes astray, The group sends out signals, To locate the bee in turmoil. |
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To have some fun Bounce stuff off of each other. To be part of a think tank, Brain injured brainstorming, (Watch out!) |
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We communicate
For optimal survival.
The bees tell each other
Where the flowers are!
Acquaintances
Grow into friends.
It’s better to light a candle,
Than to curse the darkness!”
That’s what we’re all looking for.
This is me saying to you that I want you to walk in my moccasins – A’ho. Read Gray Matters and you will get a feel of what it is like to walk in the shoes of a brain injury survivor. Poetic articulation helps you to sense the personal challenges of a brain injury survivor. Humor and uplifting stories , creative voice; graphics enliven the text text; inspiration, confidence, accomplishments, little baby steps.
If you haven’t yet read the book, Gray Matters, see the home page where there is a leaf link to where the book can be purchased. Don’t be scared to care. Melt those stones in there. Because empathy heals!
Pick up my book, listen to my rhyme, I’ll have you captivated in no time! My words speak love and concern for all brain injury survivors, everywhere! Philosophize, empathize, try a new attitude on for size!
Heidi Lerner
(Author of Gray Matters, Brain Injury: The Inside Perspective) Gray Matters for you!
It’s a Good Life
Everything was fine,
Then one day,
My life buckled under.
Now I walk around,
And my scars are under cover.
I swam up and jumped aboard again.
Sure, there are some functional irregularities,
But I’m glad to have another time around the bend.
This is a “Cheers” to those that trauma has taken for a fall,
For we all agree that it is a good life, after all!
* Emotional healing comes through interpersonal contact
* Sharing of similar experiences helps members feel less isolated and more empowered to deal with daily challenges
* Encouragement comes from learning about the achievements of others who have overcome similar difficulties
* In contributing, members feel useful and the experience gives meaning to their lives
* Education results from the exchange of information and personal experiences
* Enhances interpersonal skills
* Socializing establishes and teaches the importance of maintaining important connections with people
* Self-expression – as emotions are experienced and released, creates a greater understanding of oneself and one’s capabilities can be better accessed
* Involves confidence building
* A supportive and non-judgmental environment allows for honest self-expression and better interpersonal communication
* A sense of growth occurs
* Long-term members see new participants and reminisce about where they began and how far they have come in their personal journey.
I have been asked to follow up and comment on this post. I would love to do that, because I feel strongly about what I said here. Other words for what I’m talking about here is “taking care of yourself”. Please read and I will finish commenting when you are through.
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My regards to all of you. I am sorry, I have been so involved with myself, that I haven’t given time to communicating. I am persuing work in the field of helping people with disabilities at Access to Independence.
For me, my functionality is best accessed if I see to it that I am feeling good. So, for example, I Swing dance and if I see to it that that aspect of myself is taken care of, I am that much more able to do what I need to do in the world (i.e. care for others). Doesn’t that make sense?
I am looking to take my services to a higher level than before (that will take more focus). I am not saying that I need to swamp myself with pleasures, so that I can help others… It does take a balance of caring some for yourself, though. I am going through a churning wheel of self-worth. It is not to be distinguished by outcome, but my own internal judge. Lord help me to not get excessively critical or lavish.
I am trying to unfreeze my telephone line to the outside world. I don’t like to just babble. THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE DOING THAT ALREADY!!! The world would be a more peaceful place if so many would just shut up! I want to feel that I atleast have something to say, to occupy your time and energy in reading. I will pull it out of me to share a poet’s glimpses of the world.
May peace surround you and contentment encompass you.
Ruminate on that!
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It is one of the 10 commandments to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Do you love yourself? Are you your worst critic? Do you know what makes you feel good? Do you allow yourself that? Give yourselves a break. Treat yourself to that which you love, that what makes you feel good. When you take care of yourself, you are that much more ready to love your neighbor.
When I was being raised and as an adult too, my family did not always listen to me. Over time, my response has been that if I sense I am not being paid attention to, I just shut up. I don’t want to waste my energy speaking to ears or minds that have deafened themselves to me, I’ve got better things to do!!! I really don’t like to just babble. THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE DOING THAT ALREADY!!! This and that blog, chatroom… The world would be a more peaceful place if so many would just shut up! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think negative of myself, I know that I am blessed with great wisdom. When I write, I want to feel that I at least have something worthy to present to you. For example, my poetry says something I feel is worthy to be read. It is a unique reading experience, with many blessings for the reader You can click here and find out more about my book. Have you read my poetry on this site? Check it out and see what I mean. Gray Matters for you!
Let me repeat myself, because some things are worth repeating… May peace surround you and contentment encompass you.
Ruminate on that!
Master Organ
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Infinite mind,
Intelligible cortex,
Neural networking,
All parts of the brain
Meshed into the whole,
Interconnected,
Complex,
Yet simple system,
Encased in a bony skull,
Protected and covered
by three membranes,
Outside 
in
The wrapping of a heavy plastic sheet,
Cob-webbing amidst the wrinkles and folds,
Tender molding in the crevices,
…Cushioned
Gelatinous mind.
Internal landscape,
Delicate nerve tissue,
Nurtured by vessels,
Flowing from the heart,
Circulating into the subconscious.
A good portion is hollowed out.
Fluid circulates,
Reservoirs of plenty,
Cerebro-spinal current,
Pulsing at it’s own rhythm,
Flowing down the vertebral falls,
Wrinkles & crevices,
Cerebrum,
Distinguished into hemispheres,
In a dichotomized world,
Corpus Callosum
Bridges the differences.
The right side of the machine -
Neurologically connects
to the left side of the body.
- Left to right,
Impulses neurotransmit,
Leaping the gaps.
Lobes fenced off,
Accomplishing distinct functions,
Frontal, Temporal, Parietal, Occipital,
(for more info, see Appendix E in the book),
Working together to get it all done.
In today’s rush,
Cerebellum triggers movement,
Stem rooted into the chord of the spine.
Bundles of nerves,
Connecting,
Wiring together all our different parts,
Conducting the symphony of ourselves,
Intellectual, Emotional, Functional,
Physical, Psychological, Social,
Sensory, Intuitive,
Holistic, Multimodal,
Survival,
Evolution,
It’s all in our head.
The next Support Group at the Del Mar Library, is August 18th, from 5:30-7:30. We will have a guest speaker, Sharon Gough – Organization and helpful strategies to help us better organize ourselves. Previous to her own injury, Sharon was helping people get organized, now she has in depth knowledge about individualizing organizational techniques for people with cognitive issues.