Gray Matters Survivor Outreach

May 29, 2009

PAVED PARADISE

Filed under: Poetry — Heidi @ 4:38 pm

I want you to picture this – One summer day, the sun is shining.  You’re walking  along the road and you come to a traffic light.  It flashes walk and you cross the road.  A car comes speeding through the red light and sends you flying onto the sidewalk.  Your head hits the concrete and you immediately go into a comatose state, where you remain for days, even weeks…  What will it be like when when you open your eyes?  What will you be like?  …Have you ever thought about these things?

Yes, there is truth to that we don’t realize what we’ve got until it’s gone, but I aim at giving my readers a sense of what it’s like to walk in the shoes of a brain injury survivor.   Have you ever felt your brain was all tied up in knots?  We all have rocks in the road that we stumble upon.  My point is to come to use those challenges to make us strong!  Gray Matters is not a heavy book, it is provocative, light hearted, inspirational, and even fun.

You can purchase my book by pressing on the leaf on my home page.  Pass a link to me onto someone who has  been through more trying experiences or knows somebody that has. For some, it may be a saving grace.

Paved Paradise

I guess Joni Mitchell
was pretty right on,
When she said
that we’ll never know
what we’ve got
until it’s gone.

Does that mean
we don’t usually appreciate our A, B or C
until they’re taken from us?
I ask – does this have to be true?
Can you possibly imagine
that this has happened to you…?

In the flash of a moment,
the picture perfect sky
cracks into millions of tiny pixels.
The sun boils, blisters,
Pops and oozes dry.

The sedatory crash of the ocean waves
Turns to high-pitched wails.
Shock sets in,
Melody siphons into monotone,
Life’s intimacies are dulled,
Processing slows,
Everything changes

In a blink of circumstance.
Pains cringe out of unknown places,
Emotions turn up their volume,
How you are now is not the same
as how you once were.
Now deal with it!

Smoke comes out of the tractor’s exhaust…
Your paradise has been paved
and they’re installing a parking lot.

In time,
You’ll be looking for a parking space,
and you’ll never know
what was once there in that place.
Worse yet and what’s a scare,
You will not know what could have been there!

At first,
You probably don’t realize
what you cannot do.
Just try to not let it get to you!

Brain injury flattens out our many capabilities,
Even ones that beforehand, we were not aware.
I guess some of us must learn these things the hard way -
The question remains…
Must we go through loss
To appreciate what was once there?

I’m calling to attention -
In you, I’m trying to cause a rustle,
So that you can exercise your empathy muscle!

To the unimpaired,
This is aimed,
So ignorance of this loss
will cease.
Knowledge births tolerance,
Acceptance…
For survivors deserve
To be granted their peace.

A clear portrait is being painted
of what we’ve got…
So don’t belittle others,
Because what you can do,
they cannot.
Please…
Don’t pave paradise and put up a parking lot!
(Joni Mitchell, 1970)

Treasure hunt goes on…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Heidi @ 4:22 pm

I continue on my journey of the treasure hunt.  Seeking the jewel in the response to my cover letter and resume.  I’m joining in with the others on their treasure hunts.  It’s getting crowded on this path!

Some good news…  I sent my resume to the man in charge of the grant with the Department of Defense, Dr. Murray Stein.  They are researching interventions for soldiers with mild Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Though there are no paying positions for someone “with my skill set”, he did refer me to be a member of the Consumer Advisory Board.  What I would have to offer them is a sensitivity and understanding to what a brain injury survivor goes through.  I will be applying to the board to see if they want me to be a member.  I will report what happens when it happens.
Meanwhile, I will stay positive and optimistic.  All does work together for good, for those that love G-d.